iron apple sky

Melancholic...

I'm have a bout of depression.. but for what.. Do i burn myself out to much.. do i set my expectations.. too high... or am I just repeating the smae things over again and again... my behavoir is predictable... that I don't refute..

I'm lazy... and I have no problem detailing my short comings... I don't not view myslef as anyone of worth and the levels of my self deprecation are unending.. should I wish...

I wait... that about all that I do these days...

I had a day doing the thing that I like to do.. however I found myself unsatisfied at the end of the day... or what.. It's late and my bedtime... I have not written anything for some days.. I'm at a turning point.. well maybe not a turning point.. but a moment that I need to develop additional characters.. the villians.. and I have some ideas.. but just have not fel tlike writing.. I'm preoccupied with what I see as crap... and that is my life...

I've allowed it to become a stumbling block again.. and on top of other things.. I'm miserable at my job.. and beginning to dread Sunday's... granted I sit around and pick my ass 99% of the time... honestly.. part of me likes not doing anything.. conversely.. I hate it.. I hate working.. I working the douche bag's that I work for and a handful of who I work with...

I have moments that I fight with myself.. I presently find life pointless and worthless.. but tis is normal.. it's just a bit more crappy... ehn.. whatever... it's all the same shit... just another fucking day...