it's in your head.. filler

I think I'm aware but am I..

I'm aware of what I am aware of.. the unknowns are unknowns..

That is.. my knowledge and education and experience are current and up to date as of the exact moment I am in.

It takes reflection and conscious effort of thought to grow beyond if you choose to do so?

Hmm choice?

My gut brain has some words as does my lizard brain..

The difficulty in trying to ascertain a decision is that it is equivalent to nailing jello to a tree.. upside down. For those needing a visual.. the jello is nailed under an extended branch. It doesn't really stay.. at all.. maybe some residue around the nail . But is your argument just that?? Residue?

Again the more I read the less i know..

And for one that wants certainty that's not fucking easy to deal with.. i guess I can see how people wanting certainty would be pulled in by science... Although it just presents more questions...

Huh... 

Religion is the worship of ignorance.. 

Science is the worship of knowledge..

I had something else punny i was going to write by then this came out.. something about how I hated thinking so much.. and not a clue now..

Too much weed.. one of the reasons of many of a love/hate relationship... How to  deal without chemicals for anxiety??

But that's what we are as a species.. and is my rationale a driving factor in my emotional reactions to this? I know I have some sort of cognitive bias going on somewhere.. i know i have blind spots.. i know that dunning Kruger is in effect.. i know i use science a foundation in my understanding of reality. And my piecemealed knowledge is just that... So i use what i know to deal.. cope.. survive.. but trying to thrive..

Yet I feel the schadenfreude the universe enjoys so much is being visited upon myself. Health issues are rearing their ugly head... A used and abused life todate... While I've made changes and progress... I fret that i won't be able to see my plans come to fruition... And I have to be like water and mindful of the present.. though when the warning signs present themself and we aren't where we'd like to be in relation to calamitous or perceived calamitous future events either in physical, geographical, employment, or whatever situation that prevents us from goals. Always look for the opportunities that present themselves when the roadblocks appear...

Yeah.. why do u feel like i need to do more.. this belief about.. full potential... I'm tire.. burnt atm..

Too stoned?? Antibiotic?? Not being mobile?

Etc?????